For some people, the word networking immediately sparks excitement and an Energizer-Bunny like energy. For others, it results in a queasy stomach and an impending sense of doom.
I fall into the latter category. Small talk is not my thing (being forced to talk to heavily perfumed great aunts and yappy third cousins twice removed at the annual family reunion sucked the small talk out of me). Talking to strangers is not my thing (I blame that on my over-protective father who warned me I’d end up on a milk carton if I ever helped a man find his missing dog).
Networking isn’t my thing, either. But I don’t have a family member to blame for that one. I just have never had to network… alone. It’s easy with a chipper colleague by your side, but when it’s just you, a profound skeptic with a severe case of RBF, it’s a bit more of a challenge.
I recently embarked on my first solo networking journey, which just so happened to be in an unfamiliar city that I just moved to, a city where I have no friends and no geographical bearings. My only friends are my two dogs and my husband (even though he insists we aren’t friends). And I can now navigate to Trader Joe’s and IKEA without Siri’s assistance, but that’s the extent of my directional savvy.
After being alone in the trenches with complete strangers for nearly three hours, here’s what advice I have to offer all you other professional introverts.
12 Do's & Don'ts of Networking
Don’t eat before you go, no matter how famished you are.
What’s more embarrassing? A rumbling stomach, or an upset one?
Do bring gum.
What’s worse than a bad stomach, you ask? Bad breath. There’s no faster way to ruin a networking attempt than halitosis.
Don’t arrive early.
While you don’t have to be fashionably late, arrive a few minutes after what’s considered punctual. That way, you won’t have to sit alone.
Do have a drink (but just one).
Yes, I am encouraging a little libation before a professional event (or at it), but it’s one of the best ways to ease one’s nerves. Just ask anyone who’s gone on a blind date. Networking is blind, isn’t it?
Don’t ask yes/no questions.
Yes/no questions will get you yes/no responses, and crickets. Instead, ask open-ended questions that lead to conversations and potential connections. I found that simply asking for the Wi-Fi password incited conversation.
Do wear a great outfit.
You don’t have to go out guns-a-blazing with a skinny tie or stilettos, but put some effort into your appearance. This is a professional event and you don't want to be the sloppy kid at the table.
Don’t play on your phone the whole time.
If you’re being left out of the conversation, use your phone as a security blanket or to pretend to look busy tweeting. My best advice for phone usage at a networking event is to just assess the situation. If other people are Snap chatting the speaker's keynote, then by all means, follow suit. On the other hand, if everyone is attentively typing notes on their laptops, you should probably put up your phone.
Do bring a notebook.
A notebook is a much better way to feign you have something to do. It actually looks like you are taking notes rather than perusing Instagram.
Don’t fall asleep.
Some networking events are going to be painfully boring. If you feel yourself nodding off, take a bathroom break or help yourself to a caffeinated refreshment.
Do pay compliments.
Unfortunately, this is an icebreaker, but telling the woman next to you that you like her earrings is an easy way to break the ice.
Don’t be fake.
If you aren’t much of a talker, don’t force yourself to be. You’ll come across as ungenuine. Just soak up what you can while you’re there.
Do leave if you need to.
If you are in absolute agony, don’t bother grinning and bearing it. Get out of there, go home and watch The Office, because there’s no way you were as awkward as Michael Scott. But do give yourself a pat on the back for trying!
Have you networked solo before? What tips can you share with us?
