I never will forget the episode of Sex and The City where Charlotte doesn’t want to be caught dead in the self-help section at Barnes and Noble. She didn’t want the stigma of someone actually seeing her needing help with dating so she ends up buying the book on Amazon.
Fast forward almost 20 years, and we are still doing the same thing Charlotte did. Why is that? Is wanting to improve yourself really that bad? Well, I definitely was thinking the same thing.
Now I don’t want this blog to be about how self-help books changed my life, but I do think they do make a major difference in comparison to your coworkers who aren’t actively reading. If reading could eventually make you a lot more money, wouldn’t you be reading every night? Yeah, that’s what I thought. This is a blog about how reading (the right books) can gain you both professional and personal success.
I dare you to go and look at one of the first blogs I wrote for ROI. Chances are it will read much different than this blog and my other recent blogs. Could it be gained expertise in social media, professional experience, or just maturity? The truth is it’s probably all three. The common denominator for all three is reading and in particular self-help books.
I think the most important step is transforming your mindset. The book that did just exactly that for me was “The Obstacle Is The Way” By Ryan Holiday. It’s the perfect tool to help you transform the way you think about the crap that life will throw at you.
It does a great job of explaining how all of these great leaders from history took the many obstacles they encountered and turned them into prosperity. As humans, we tend to focus on the bad things and let them be bad things. This book teaches you how to turn that bad break-up into a healthy new relationship or that disappointing business deal into a new opportunity for better business practices.
I learned many things from this book, but there was one quote that really resonated with me. “Life doesn’t hand you a steel backbone, you have to forge one for yourself.”
I have always had a problem sticking up for myself and learning how to deal with people who are just, well, assholes.
The truth is no one is born to do that either. You have to suck it up and try to create a stronger backbone than the one you were given. This has really helped me with client management. It is so easy to let a difficult client bring you down, but by building a new backbone you can not only stand up for yourself but also your work. Now that is empowering!
It also gives you powerful lessons on how hard work and a great attitude really get you much further in life. So let’s just stop all of the feeling sorry for ourselves and self-help shaming! You will be surprised how much it changes your relationships, work, and self-esteem.
